Sunday, June 04, 2006

Healing of the Emotional wounds

 Forgetting a hurt or wound does not heal us. The pain is only forgotten and thus pushed away almost spontaneously from our conscious awareness into the unconscious. This process is called repression. Until the wound is healed we would be influenced in unhealthy ways by the emotional wound. Our parents may have been hot-tempered and we may have been hurt often badly by their hot-tempered behaviour. As a result we become hot-tempered too as we grow older. It is possible that we, now as adults, enjoy excellent relationship with our parents. But we will continue to be hot-tempered until the wound is healed.

Healing takes place when one shifts from a victim to a winner position.15 One is a victim when one feels helpless, confused and overwhelmed. In a victim position one does not feel O.K., as one is. Compulsive behaviours are unconscious, irresponsible and ineffective ways of getting rid of this victim feeling. Thus for example, the victim identifies himself with the aggressor’ and becomes hot-tempered like one’s father. One may take to blaming others for one’s plight. There are hundreds of ways in which this game is played out. When one shifts emotionally to a winner attitude, one feels O.K. just as one is and competent to deal with the challenges of life in healthy ways. One begins to be concerned about one’s fellow beings as much as of oneself. Since they are not themselves hurting, they will not hurt others.


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